Sorry Isn't Enough
by Nakamura Junko
Summary: Sirius has tried apologizing after the incident with Snape, but Remus still wont talk to him.


A/N: This is my first fanfic after years of not writing. It's a little one-shot i typed out to get me back into the swing of things so bear with me if its a little scratchy.

It had been three weeks since Sirius sent Snape down the tunnel from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack. Three weeks since Snape had seen Remus' transformation and James had had to step in and save him last minute. It had also been three weeks since Remus stopped being his friend.

Not that anybody else would have noticed. During class and meals with the rest of the school the Marauders acted completely normal, well as normal as a Marauder could act. They'd plan pranks together, laugh at a passing Slytherin they'd just jinxed, roll their eyes as James tried desperately to get Evans to go out with him. Yes to the outside world they were the same fours friends they'd been since their first year at Hogwarts.

However as soon as it was just the four of them the façade they put on for the rest of the school broke. Conversations were strained and mostly it was just James and Peter talking. Which usually ended up one-sided as Peter would just nod happily at whatever James was talking about. Usually some amazing move he pulled off during Quidditch practice.

Sirius would try to join in, he'd make fun of the way Peter adored James (in jest) and tell James to stop talking about Quidditch for a second and breath. But would lose concentration halfway through, choosing instead to try and coax something out of their fourth member.

Remus refused to speak or join in when it was just the four of them alone. Or more when Sirius was with them. If it were just him, James and Peter he'd add his thoughts to the conversation or join them doing homework. If Sirius was there however, he'd ignore him and find any excuse to leave the group.

Sirius knew it was entirely his fault.

The prank he'd played on Snape had been stupid and dangerous, but the slimy git just couldn't keep his nose out of their business. What was it to him where Remus went every month? Snape wasn't their friend, they didn't have to tell him anything. Besides, Snape had jinxed and hexed them several times during the week leading up to the incident and they hadn't been able to retaliate properly with the teachers watching them like hawks.

Snape deserved it.

But Remus didn't.

Sirius had done the worst thing he could do as a friend and had broken Remus' trust. And that was something Sirius was terrified he'd never get back.

A couple of days before the next full moon Sirius and James were sat by the fire in the common room pouring over their transfiguration homework. Or at least that's what it looked like to anyone who glanced at the parchment they were working on. It was actually plans to break into the Slytherin common room and fill the dorms with invisible dung bombs. James had used a handy little spell so that nobody but the marauders could read it though.

"I reckon tomorrow night would be better," Sirius muttered, brow furrowed as he added little drawings of a stag, a dog, a wolf and a rat jumping up and down on Snapes head as the latter slept surrounded by dung bombs. "Filch always does early rounds on a Thursday before going to the trophy room to clean. It'll be easy to get past him."

"Don't forget McGonagall takes over afterwards. So as long as we avoid the second floor we should be fine," James murmured, adding an even larger nose to Sirius' drawing of Snape. "But if we do it tomorrow Moony won't come as it's too close to the full moon and we need his help."

Sirius tensed a little, pausing for a moment before asking, "are you sure Moony will come anyway? In case you haven't noticed he doesn't stick around long when I'm with you guys."

James sighed, putting down his quill and turning to face Sirius. "You've got to talk to him Padfoot."

"I've tried! I went straight to the hospital wing the morning after and I explained what had happened, admitted it was all my fault and apologised! What more can I do?" Sirius said heatedly, though making sure to keep his voice to a whisper.

"I don't know, but it's the full moon in two nights and we going. All of us!" James was glaring at Sirius, the disappointment clear on his face but not quite masking the worry that his friends would never talk again. "None of us were there last time, he was all alone. We're not leaving him alone this month."

Sirius sighed and watched James turn back to the piece of parchment that lay between them. His best friend was right, they couldn't leave Remus alone again, not after what happened last time. But would Remus want him there? Would the wolf be happy to see the dog joining them on their monthly escapades or would he attack his former best friend who betrayed his secret?

No, thought Sirius. He'd probably ignore me like Remus does.

Smiling a little at the image of a big ferocious wolf trying to be all dignified and ignore him, Sirius didn't notice the portrait hole open and close until Peters voice sounded from next to him.

"Hey guys what are you doing?"

Sirius glanced around in time to see Remus disappearing upstairs to their dorm. He and Peter had been in the library all evening, actually doing homework. Or more like Remus had been doing homework and Peter had been copying.

Peter was proudly telling James about the two rolls of parchment he'd just written for charms homework, something the latter obviously didn't believe judging by the look of mild amusement and disbelief on his face. Taking his chance whilst Peter was distracted (the boy had a very bad habit of interrupting private conversations and not taking a hint to go away) Sirius quickly followed Remus up to their dorm.

As he opened the door and stepped in he saw the curtains round Remus' bed drawn tightly shut, obviously trying to pretend he was asleep.

Snorting softly Sirius walked over to the parting and called out quietly, "Remus can we talk?"

There was silence from the other side, and Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair before speaking again, "Moony please just let me explain-"

"You've already explained, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to talk to you anymore." The harshness in Remus' voice was something Sirius had never heard from the other boy before. The guilt he'd been feeling was suddenly overtaken with a wave of hurt. How could their relationship have to come to this point?

Knowing that the hurt that one sentence did to him was nowhere near the hurt his actions had caused Remus', Sirius turned away and headed back to the door quietly. Placing his hand on the door knob to turn, he froze when an almost inaudible sob came from behind the curtains.

Remus was crying.

He'd made Remus cry.

Sirius stood frozen for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. He was never good with emotions and people crying. Growing up if he or his brother cried they'd be punished. It was a sign of weakness and was not tolerated in his parent's house. And at school he'd had plenty of girls crying over him, but he usually brushed them off and let their friends deal with it.

Remus was the one who could talk you through your problems, stop you from crying and cheer you up. Sirius was just hopeless at it. But now it was Remus who was upset and Sirius had to do something.

He stood there a little while longer listening to his friend crying quietly thinking about what he could do. What part of his messed up personality could console Remus?

And then it came to him like a slap on the forehead. Moving quietly he made his way back to the hidden bed, transforming into a big black dog as he went. Using his nose to part the curtains Padfoot whimpered slightly before climbing onto the bed to join to boy curled up on it.

Remus jumped a little and turned over to look at the dog, eyes red and slightly puffy, "Sirius, what are...? I said I don't want to talk to y-you so go away."

Padfoot guessed he was trying to be angry but the sadness in Remus' voice was so clear. Getting comfortable he laid down next to Remus, cuddling up to the other in an attempt to show how sorry he was and trying to make him feel better.

Remus stared down at him for a moment, a mixture of confusion and annoyance etched onto his face. It was better than seeing hatred in the others' eyes Padfoot thought, closing his own to go to sleep.

He could hear Remus sigh and then move around to lay down properly. Then Padfoot felt an arm gently lay over his back, soft fingers brushing through his fur.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you, you know." Remus murmured in his ear.

Opening his eyes, Padfoot watched his friend drift off, his face relaxing slightly though his cheek were still damp and tear stained. Closing his eyes again Padfoot shifted closer to his friend, ready to drop off himself. He knew he had a lot of work to do to earn Remus' forgiveness and get his trust back, but this was a start.


End file.
